Yorba Linda, CA. – A local dog owner apologized over the weekend when his dog Meaney inadvertently dug up Jimmy Hoffa. The man, who asked to be called “Mr. Smith”, said he was walking his dog on Sunday, when all of a sudden the dog ran off. Meaney was located 10 minutes later digging in the back of the library. When Mr. Smith saw the bones he immediately called the FBI.
Local Special Agent Grady “Fritzy” Fitzsimmons:
We were called to the library late Sunday night by a local resident whose dog had dug up human remains. Because this is a federal institution the FBI gets to identify the body…not the local police. Ever.
Asked how the FBI identified the body so quickly, Agent Fitzsimmons responded:
Mr. Hoffa was wearing his “President – Class of 1971 IBT ring”. Also, there were remains of a “Tricky Dicky” T-shirt.
It is a well known fact that Mr. Hoffa was a big fan of Mr. Nixon. It was Mr. Nixon who pardoned Mr. Hoffa in 1971 after serving only a third of his sentence. Mr. Nixon was quoted as saying that “Mr. Hoffa is like a sole mate to me.”
Reporters noted that 2013 would have been the 100th birthday of Mr. Nixon. Is there any co-incidence about the body being found this year? Special Agent Fitzsimmons:
We are the FBI. We don’t believe in co-incidences. It was, more than likely, terrorists. They do hate our freedoms.