April 1st, Paris, France – In an unprecedented reversal of the 2006 Prague Internatinal Astronomical Union Resolution that downgraded Pluto to “dwarf planet” status, the IAU today announced that, effective immediately, Pluto is a planet again.
When asked to explain why the IAU went back on its decision, IAU director Dr. Karel A. van der Hucht cited numerous complaints from members of the original commission in 2006. “Some members wake up in the middle of night hearing dogs howling, other members complain about being dog-tired all the time and a few noticed that all their books are dog-eared. They just can’t take it anymore!”
Scientists around the world were stunned by the decision. Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson, director of the Hayden Planetarium in New York City, said he was “shocked, shocked. I can’t believe that they would arbitrarily reinstate Pluto as a planet,” he said. “I spent a lot of time and energy getting Pluto thrown out as a planet. It’s just not fair! I’m blaming Disney completely — Mickey’s dog Pluto.”
Not all scientists were unhappy about Pluto being invited back into the Solar System’s big leagues. Dr. Paul Hertz, Chief Scientist for the Science Mission Directorate at NASA Headquarters, said “This is change we can believe in. We welcome Pluto back.”
Dr. Steve MacLean, Canadian Space Agency President commented, “We would like to make a statement, however, it is not Canadian government policy to let scientists talk about science stuff.”
As to why the IAU decided to reinstate Pluto as a planet now, Dr van der Hucht said, “We did not want to wait until the dog days of summer.”
“It was a goofy idea”, said Goofy. Dopey, Grumpy, Doc, Happy, Bashful and Sneezy all agreed. “We don’t need any more dwarfs,” they said.