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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

shitty little dog“Saskatooners are not New Yorkers. We have big dogs.”

So said the mayor of Saskatoon, Don Atchison.  With those words, the city of Saskatoon went on to ban annoying little dogs.

From The Lapine:

While bans on pitbulls are increasingly common, Saskatoon has become the first city in the world to ban dogs under 5 pounds (2.27 kg) because they are “noisy, annoying and not really dogs.”
In a split-vote decision, City Council passed the by-law to shut the city gates to a long list of dogs that are commonly referred to as “Purse Dogs” because they fit in a handbag…

The usual suspect  is of course being blamed for the proliferation of SLYDs:

Heiress Paris Hilton is discredited with making “Purse Dogs” a fashion must for twentysomething A-listers, being photographed thousands of times with miniature pooches peeking out of her name-brand bags. TMZ Celebrity News ran seven clips (December 15, 2012) of Hilton being unable to remember the name of her Purse Dog, and it is reported she leases the Teacup Rescue Doggettes by the half dozen….

Visitors to Saskatoon will be allowed to bring their “dog” as long as they have obtained a “Undersized Canine Temporary License.”

From The Lapine.  Think Canadian Onion. :)

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The new iBall5!!!!!

Anticipation peaked this week as tens of people (and their dogs) lined up to purchase the new iBall5.  For weeks now information has been trickling out to the media about what options the new iBall5 would have.  Well wait no more people, we have the scoop.

The iBall5

Features:

  • It is the lightest iBall yet!
  • It has the latest microchip processor available on the planet.
  • It has GPS.  No more lost balls!
  • It is .15569mm larger than previous iBalls for better grip.

While costing slightly more than previous iBall’s, we believe the cost is justified.  You wouldn’t want your pooch to be the only dog at the dog park to be playing with old technology, would you?

 

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T-Bone Traded!

T-Bone, the most prolific stud ever has been has been traded from Denver to an elitist East Coast Breeder named The Gord for an unknown Rottweiler.  Fans of T-Bone were shocked to hear the news.  “I never, ever, thought that he would leave Denver,” said life long fan Ethel Robinson.  “When people think Denver, they think T-Bone!”   An official at The Gord, who preferred to remain nameless because he was not authorized to speak for attribution said, “His best days were behind him and besides we get a new Rottweiler and two puppies to be named later.”

T-Bone was heard to say, “I’m only doing The Gord’s work.”

T-Bones’ Stats

Born:  August 14th, 2007

Height: 3 ft  3¾ in.

Weight: 115 lbs.

Experience: Substantial

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